October 2009
22 posts
“All a girl really wants is for one guy to prove...
Hello. Sorry I have been far away. I am having one of those no-good-very-bad weeks mixed along with 10 hour rehearsal days and it has left me 100% unable to function come 11 pm. First of all, thanks for all your love and support during this week. Shushu had to lend me clothes, buy me margaritas and hug my sorry self too many times this week. I would also like to thank catering for making...
Mom.
Ten amazing things about my mom: 1-Since I can remember she has told me that I am the best and the prettiest. 2-She taught Hobo how to watch baseball. 3-She is really good at picking out perfect cards and sending them my way. 4-She is so hot that all the boys at the pools in Vegas hit on her. 5-She is completely selfless. 6-She has kick ass scene hair. 7-She loves the Buddha. My dad calls her...
Keeping my eyes on the road this time around.
It is my day off. I refuse to get out of bed for the rest of the afternoon. Sometimes I do not need to talk. I want to thank Martin Sexton for making a song that perfectly describes what I am thinking this very minute. I want to thank Stacey for creating such a perfect piece of dance. I want a star-trek transporter so he can come snuggle with me. Now I’m tired and I’m scared and...
Is that a giant flower headband or are you just...
It has been one of those crazy days where everything goes wrong and somehow it is made into a movie montage with a counting crows song playing behind it. Showed up for work, did giant kicks coming out of bus, giant wave of water came and flooded the entire arena, got sent away, found fun store and tried on boas, went back to work and at dinner lit my shirt on fire at catering on a candle by...
Decided to stick with what I am good at. Just to clarify: Things I am good at: -drinking diet coke -doing giant kicks while coming out door of big red bus -designing kick ass dancegear -writing rad memoir/inspirational coming of age in NYC tale -standing in heels for 9 hours and not complaining -biting my nails -eating trailmix in bed while icing feet Things I am bad at: -Sleeping -drinking...
The Lady Danger's have sore feet.
Remember all those movies where the backstage was filled with flowers, vanities, giant powder brushes, girls in silk robes sitting plush chairs? Forget all that. This is what life behind the scenes of the biggest tour of the fall looks like. After 10 hours in heel taps (I HATE HEEL TAPS!) We hop over to the training room which is inside a smelly hockey players locker room and submerge ourselves (...
Meanwhile back in the dance world...
My agent Anastasia Miller is the bomb.com. I met her many years ago when she took over at Bloc NYC when I was their client, when she moved to Clear Talent Group I followed her. The reasons are numerous. 1)She always pushes for me. 2)I am on her top 5 list of girls to call 3)She believes in me as an artist and as a person 4)She can out drink me 5)She is a dog lover 6)She appeared in My DVD...
The boy who cried "SORRY"
I don’t like to lead a life filled with hate or resentment but I am feeling a little overwhelmed with the bad stuff today. I am thinking about the words “I am sorry”. This is a phrase that is overused in our daily lives. We bump into people on the street, fall on them on the subway, bump their carts in the store and we are sorry. We forget someones birthday, forget someones...
Rhythmically advanced.
Please forgive me for my lack of entries. It’s been a busy little time here in rehearsal. I have often found myself waking up cuddling with my laptop having fallen asleep writing the night before. Between designing for my fall collection with Sugar + Bruno, finishing my book, cheering along my labelmate Chelsie on Dancing with the Stars every Monday and Tuesday, Dancing 6 hours a day,...
I choose love.
TOKYOtheCOMPANY: “You know what’s funny…everyone likes to tell you how terrible of a person you are…but wouldn’t that make them terrible too? Thoughts…”
Here I am and here we go again.
Thia year in Rockettes our dance captains like to use the word ” situation”. They say things like “we have a bent arm situation” or “it is a hover over your number situation”. I write you with some ultimate butterflies in my belly. I find myself in a “jump headfirst off a cliff into life situation”. As you might have noticed, this seems to be a...
No it doesn't hurt unless I walk.
You don’t have to call to make sure I’m up cause i’m still wide awake cause i’m still lost in shock I know your concerned I know your just sick and I know you’d feel better if I were over it Today was breakdown day. I woke up with a serious case of the grumpies. I had been feeling it come on for some time, and at some point between getting 6000 notes and feeling...
Important.
I've run out of complicated theories now I'm...
(I found this video of my friend Ben Susak by accident online, it terrible quality and I think it makes it even better. I think Ben is so brilliant, he moves like honey.) Time travel is not an option. But if it was I think it would be an interesting experiment to take two people and drop them a year later and see what would happen. The cycle of life allows us to exist inside of very special...
Patrolmag.com
» The first thing Keltie said to me was “I love your name! I’m adding it to the list of names of the future children I’m not going to have.” As we both laughed at the comment I realized, I’m really going to like this girl. What made you start dancing? “I became a dancer when my mom took me to my very first dance class in a big red barn in the crazy small town I’m from. We got to run around...
The dark place.
There will come a day that even the girl with the highest hopes will have the sudden urge to sit down in the middle of rehearsals, cry and wait for her mommy to come get her to take her home, wrap her up in a snuggie and make her soup. I am having that day. In Rockette-land we call it going to the “dark place”. It is really easy to find, take a bunch of really hard work, unachievable...
today.
“When the strong were too weak to hurt the weak, the weak had to be strong enough to leave.” -The Unbearable lightness of Being, by Milan Kundera
Breaking point.
Today I could use a whole lot more this. and a whole lot less this. Breaking points are called breaking points because you feel like you might break. It is so much easier to just do whatever you want then what you are told, in dance and in life. Sigh.
my heart isn't black + blue anymore.
How do you find the strength in your heart to not only forgive people in life but to also be big enough to not carry a backpac of hate around on your back? I have to do 300 kicks a show people. All that hate can get heavy. Sometimes I do not know what to say. On here. In life. Or in response to text messages. I could write a book on what I would love to say, what I might actually calculate myself...
the moon was so beautiful the ocean held up a...
When you get down, the only place you can go is up. Took an amazing walk on the beach last night. Stood with my feet in the waves bawling my eyes out looking at the moon with my vision blurred by the tears running down my face. I don’t even know what I was crying about. I was just overwhelmed with emotion. From every aspect. I just kept saying in my head that it is exhausting to act happy...
Your options: Love me or leave me alone.
And the things you can’t remember tell the things you can’t forget That history puts a saint in every dream. (Oh Mr. Waits. When I listen to your music my soul is reborn. ) I am the queen of band aids. I thought about this as I taped up almost every crevice of my feet this morning before rehearsal. I dance around on these contained disasters of limbs all day. I come home, make dinner,...
sometimes, words are not needed.
